Five to Thrive for Practitioners

Humans are born to connect and care. Right from our first breath, every human needs safe connections with people who care about them - our caregivers.

Five to Thrive describes the neurological sequence of activity that caregivers produce whenever they meet the needs of others.

Five to Thrive is a model which enables us to notice what goes on in interactions between people.

Five to Thrive is an approach which enables us to be a meeter-of-needs in our interactions with other people. As humans, people need people. 

Five to Thrive is a framework which enables us to teach others about the part they play in brain development

Many things can get in the way of connected relationships between people such as illness, disability, pain or stress, physical or mental illness, domestic violence, substance misuse etc.

When we read the blocks from bottom to top, it explains the neurological sequence our brain goes through when we can offer co-regulation to others. 

Five to Thrive is part of our normal behaviour as long as we're feeling regulated, grounded, and resilient enough. 

We are not telling people what to do because we are already being Five to Thrive by virtue of being human, but as with anything the more we understand it, and notice how we behave (or parent) on our best days, then the more we will feel inspired to do it again.  

It's also important to recognise when we ourselves need support and who can help us when we notice our own tower may not feel as stable as usual. We're not able to help co-regulate other people if we're feeling dis-regulated.  The five ways to good wellbeing idea can help with this.

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Ask yourself these questions to build your own support network when your batteries need a boost

RESPOND - Who responds to you when you feel anxious or unsafe?

ENGAGE - Who is good at engaging with you?

RELAX - Who co-regulates with you?

PLAY - Whose playfulness helps your brain to work?

TALK - Whose narrative helps you make sense of things?

Along with the neurological sequence supporting self/co regulation, the building blocks can also be used to describe activities a family can do at home. Each block has brain building potential.

Baby

Toddler

Primary School

Secondary School 

Neurodiverse Young Adult 

Five to Thrive Workbook for one to one work

Mending Hurts Workbook for one to one work

Parent Journal - A handy guide for parents to track their Five to Thrive Journey

Five to Thrive insert for Red Book (Personal healthcare book)

Teen Journal - To use with older children to help them recognise the building blocks and which maybe missing

Make your own building blocks 

Five to Thrive Drop Cards - handy quotes, key features of each block and images 

If you'd like to share how Five to Thrive has supported either yourself, child, family, group you've been working with please email familyhubs@leics.gov.uk

Social Media 

Here is an example of a 7 day Facebook comms plan to introduce the building blocks to families. The images used were from the downloadable drop card and images from the Five to Thrive page

Group Work for 0-5

Here's a 3 week session plan (can merge together if the session is long enough) if you were running a Five to Thrive group like a parent class or pathway 

One to One Work (any age)

These useful practitioner workbooks will help you plan a Five to Thrive session and a Mending Hurts (trauma recovery/maintenance) session effectively. It includes a summary of the approach, possible questions and a log for you to record what's discussed to follow up if required

Activities & Games 

Cut out these quotes and mix them up. Ask your parent/family/group/colleague to say which block they correspond with. 

You can make your own Five to Thrive blocks by downloading the template below 

Supporting someone with mental health challenges

Respond -  Being attuned and responsive to others’ emotional and physical needs.

• Mental health impact:
  • Builds trust and emotional safety.
  • Reinforces the idea that needs are valid and will be met, which is essential for self-esteem.
  • Helps regulate stress and anxiety through co-regulation.

Example: A teacher notices a child withdrawing during group work and gently checks in. The child feels seen and valued.

Engage - Making eye contact, showing interest, sharing attention and affection.

• Mental health impact:
  • Supports social connection and reduces feelings of isolation.
  • Boosts dopamine and oxytocin, improving mood and connection.
  • Encourages self-expression and builds confidence.

Example: A parent sits with their child during homework, offering encouragement and shared focus.

Relax - Creating moments of calm, rest, and emotional regulation.

• Mental health impact:
  • Reduces cortisol (stress hormone) levels.
  • Helps develop self-soothing skills and emotional regulation.
  • Allows space for processing emotions and reducing overwhelm.

Example: A practitioner helps a child learn breathing exercises or creates a quiet, sensory-friendly space.

Play - Engaging in spontaneous, creative, and joyful activities.

• Mental health impact:
  • Encourages emotional expression and problem-solving.
  • Boosts resilience and coping skills.
  • Strengthens relationships through shared joy and fun.

Example: A therapist uses play-based interventions to help a child explore feelings in a safe way.

Talk -  Using language to name feelings, needs, and experiences.

• Mental health impact:
  • Builds emotional literacy—a key protective factor for mental health.
  • Encourages communication over behaviour, reducing misinterpretation.
  • Helps process difficult events through storytelling and narrative.

Example: A youth worker supports a teen in naming their feelings after a conflict with a friend, helping them make sense of their reactions.

Supporting a Parent with Limited English in one of our groups

• Respond: The facilitator (us) notices the mother’s discomfort and responds empathetically, offering reassurance in simple language and encouraging her participation.
• Engage: The mother becomes more open to engaging in activities, slowly starting to participate in conversations with the group.
• Relax: The facilitator uses calming, non-verbal cues like a gentle tone and open posture, helping the mother feel safe and supported.
• Play: The facilitator encourages playful activities like simple games that involve mimicking or clapping, making it easier for the mother to interact with others without the pressure of speaking perfectly.
• Talk: Through repetitive, clear, and simple language, the facilitator helps the mother build confidence, offering gentle corrections and encouraging her to express her thoughts. This promotes her language development.

Encouraging a Child/baby Who Avoids Interaction

• Respond: A staff member notices the baby’s hesitation or withdrawal and responds by gently calling their name or making soft sounds to catch their attention, offering comfort through a soothing voice or touch.
• Engage: he baby begins to engage slowly, perhaps by making eye contact, responding with a small movement or smile, but still shows hesitancy in fully participating. The staff member offers reassurance through gentle gestures and playful sounds.
• Relax: The staff member creates a calm environment, possibly moving to a quieter, softer space, reducing any overstimulation. They use slow, rhythmic body movements (like gentle rocking or swaying) to help the baby feel more secure.
• Play: The staff encourages simple, age-appropriate play, such as rolling a soft ball, gentle peek-a-boo, or mirroring the baby’s movements. This helps the baby become more comfortable and feel engaged without pressure.
• Talk: The staff uses simple, soothing words to narrate actions, such as “Let’s roll the ball,” or “It’s your turn!” Repetition of words and soft expressions helps the baby start connecting sounds with actions and understand the interaction, even if the baby isn't yet speaking.

Helping a Young Parent Build Engagement Skills

• Respond: The young father shows signs of frustration, so the staff member responds with understanding and offers reassurance that learning takes time.
• Engage: The father begins to engage more with his baby, using eye contact and touch as he interacts.
• Relax: The facilitator helps the father relax by modelling calm, slow breathing and adjusting the pace of their interactions to avoid overwhelming the father.
• Play: The facilitator encourages playful, fun interactions, such as singing simple songs or gently rocking the baby, which helps foster positive emotional connections.
• Talk: The father incorporates language into play by narrating what’s happening, telling stories, and singing songs to the baby. He begins to understand the impact of positive verbal communication on his baby’s development.

Assisting a Family Facing Trauma

• Respond: The facilitator responds to the family’s hesitation by offering empathy and understanding, reassuring them that they are safe in the environment.
• Engage: The family begins to engage with the group activities, initially through small gestures and quiet participation.
• Relax: The facilitator uses soft, calming language and adjusts the environment to ensure that the family feels safe and able to manage their stress levels.
• Play: The facilitator introduces simple games or activities that require minimal verbal communication, allowing the family to interact in a non-pressuring way.
• Talk: The facilitator then uses storytelling or visual aids to communicate daily routines, checking for understanding through simple questions. Over time, the family begins to open up more verbally.

Training Volunteers on Engagement, Responsiveness, Relaxation, Play, and Talk

• Respond: The trainer notices the volunteers’ confusion about how to communicate effectively and responds by offering encouragement and guiding them through practical exercises.
• Engage: Volunteers begin to engage more actively in the training, practicing empathy and communication skills with each other.
• Relax: The trainer guides volunteers in relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, to help reduce stress and improve focus during the training exercises.
• Play: Volunteers practice playful exercises, such as mirroring each other’s movements or engaging in light-hearted role-play scenarios to foster connection and ease communication.
• Talk: Volunteers learn the importance of both non-verbal and verbal communication, practicing clear and empathetic listening, while also discussing how to incorporate verbal cues like storytelling, repetition, and questioning into their work with families.

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Block 1: Respond:    

Responding involves tuning into another person’s emotions, accepting their stress, and helping them regulate it. Barriers to responsiveness include stress and distractions, which can make individuals feel ignored or unsupported. Recognising and valuing responsiveness in ourselves and others is crucial. If children’s need for responsive interactions isn’t met, they may struggle with identity, safety, bonding, and emotional regulation. Adults can support children by learning their unique cues, being patient even when met with hostility, and making connections with trusted adults to create a sense of security.

Block 2 - Engage:

Engagement is key to connection and co-regulation, requiring awareness of physical proximity, eye contact, posture, and voice tone. Observing and understanding engagement helps identify when someone is connected or withdrawn. Adults can support engagement by adjusting their approach—using different positions, tones, or levels of interaction to find what comforts rather than overwhelms. If engagement needs aren’t met, children may struggle with recognising emotions, social motivation, and empathy. Teaching others about engagement’s importance ensures children receive the support they need to build meaningful connections.

Block 3 – Relax:

Relaxation is essential for emotional balance and effective brain function. Throughout life, we rely on others to help us regulate stress through co-regulation. As co-regulators, we must first calm ourselves, allowing the other person to relax. Self-regulation strategies include adjusting posture, deep breathing, movement, and changing thoughts. If children’s regulation needs aren’t met, they may experience hyperarousal, reduced concentration, or dissociation. Adults can support regulation by consciously staying calm, matching a child’s emotional state, and then guiding them to self-regulate. Teaching others about co-regulation ensures stronger emotional resilience in children and families.

Block 4 – Play:

Play activates the social and emotional brain through non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions, body language, and gestures. This type of interaction allows the co-regulator to connect on an emotional level, helping the other person understand and process emotions more effectively. Non-verbal cues enable a reciprocal give-and-take of engagement, relaxation, and responding, which promotes emotional connection and understanding. Practicing playful, non-verbal communication through activities like mirroring helps build social skills and emotional regulation. If children’s needs aren’t met in play, they may struggle with reciprocity, cooperation, or managing emotions like shame. Adults can support children by being mindful of their non-verbal communication and practicing playfulness to foster healthy connections.

Block 5 – Talk:

Talk activates the cognitive and rational brain through verbal communication. From the moment babies are born, the words used by adults—whether during play, engagement, relaxation, or responsiveness—help shape their developing brain. What is said to a child, especially during moments of overwhelm, can have a lasting impact. Adults need to listen empathetically, speak honestly, and stay consistent even when the other person seems unresponsive. Positive verbal interactions, including storytelling, repetition, and checking comprehension, help children develop thinking, language, and communication skills. When these needs aren’t met, children may struggle with understanding speech, distinguishing between reality and fantasy, or managing time. Adults can support children by building language skills, using simple, clear language, and checking for understanding.